I was riding in the car with my friend and his wife to drop off their kid at daycare. It was the first time at this daycare, so we decided to go in and check it out for a bit. When we got in, there was a ton of dogs running all over, so I sat down and played with a few. Out of nowhere some guy in a jean jacket came and started dry humping me. I was like wtf, and my friends were all laughing and pointing at me saying that I just got owned by a dog with an 18 inch penis.

I was at some appliance store looking to buy a washer and dryer. I walked up to the sales lady that happened to be helping Shaq. She was doing a demo and pulled out some clothes from the washer, and put them in the dryer. Then she pulled out a baby and threw it in the dryer like a piece of clothing.

When I was in elementary school, I always have this repeated nightmare. It starts from just a single number then suddenly those numbers grow exponentially into millions of numbers along with mathematical symbols that filled out my pitch black vision. To make it worse there's always a point where there's a million tangled threads spread around the numbers and slowly suffocating me. This dreams always ends up with me suffocating in the night due to my asthma.

There were like 20 chicks lined up in a row on some long table. They were all naked, and I had to go to each of them and eat them out. It was awesome. Except when I got to the last one, her vagina was like sealed shut, so she told me I had to peel it like an orange. She handed me the utensil and when I tried, it started to puss all over and shoot green shit out. I woke up almost vomiting.

After watching Jurassic Park as a little kid, I had a dream that I lying in bed when a T-Rex ripped the roof off my house. As he peeked his head in the hole in the roof, I noticed he had a McDonalds visor on and handed me a happy meal. He asked me if I wanted an apple pie and his voice was Jeff Goldblum.